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Why saying Yes is often the best decision

February 1, 2022

I have seen the power of why saying yes is often the best decision; both in my personal and professional life. Thirteen years ago today, my husband, our two daughters, and I arrived in Newfoundland and Labrador on the ferry in Port aux Basques.  We had sold our house in Ontario and were moving to Pasadena into a house we bought sight-unseen.  Neither my husband nor I had jobs and our house was not completely built.  Jobless and homeless, we moved in with my parents for what was supposed to be 2 weeks.  It turned into 7!

Image of a woman and a man smiling while saying yes
My husband and I in Bottle Cove, NL, September 2021

Recently I came across a video where a woman stated her life was positively impacted by always saying yes.  It got me thinking…

What would happen if I did not say yes?

I would not be the owner of Spicer Facilitation & Learning today.

If I did not say Yes over 30 years ago, I would not be married to my wonderful husband Tim.  We would not have two beautiful daughters.  If we both did not say Yes, we would not have taken the huge step of leaving Mississauga and move to Pasadena.

Five years ago I was faced with a career shift when my position was eliminated with my former employer. Several people suggested that I start my own business. I took some time to think it over, talk with my family, do some research. I decided to take the risk. On February 18th, 2018, I said Yes and launched my business.

Saying Yes to clients

Over the past four years, I have learned a LOT! I have learned how to run a business. My clients have educated me on a wide variety of topics, issues, and opportunities.

On a few occasions, clients have challenged me by asking, “Can you do XYZ for us?” I might be more of a ABC gal, or a certified LMN provider, yet my first instinct is usually, what the heck is XYZ? Followed by yeah, I can do that.

Next I hop online, do some searching, check out other providers. Generally, I find out that while I may not be an official XYZ gal, I might be highly skilled in Y or know a lot about X. I always trust that I can learn more about Z. Making sure I am transparent, I will go back to my client and tell them that I may not have all of what you are looking for; however, this is what I can do for you. We can learn about the rest together. It has paid off several times for me. Clients have said yes to me, and we have worked well together.

Since moving to Pasadena, in my personal life, I have grown as a person by saying Yes to kayaking, snow shoeing, hiking, meditation and yoga. They help maintain my mental wellness. I have built resilience and have developed self-care strategies to keep me strong both physically and mentally. 

When not to say Yes

While learning why saying yes is often the best decision for me, I have also learned when not to say yes.

In my professional life, if saying yes is going to negatively impact my business, my reputation, or my brand, then it is in my best interests not to do so.

Personally, if saying yes is going to increase stress, make me feel overwhelmed, or cause me harm, then I just do not do it.

As a result, I have discovered setting boundaries is a powerful tool. However, there is always a right time and place.

Over 30 years ago I said Yes. Thirteen years ago I said Yes. Five years ago I said Yes. I truly appreciate why saying Yes is often the best decision.

Do not just take it from me. Learn Five Reasons Why Saying Yes is the Best Decision for Your Career.

How often do you say yes? How is that working for you? Let me know! ~ Carole

Find your people in 2022

January 4, 2022

“If you do nothing else in 2022 – Find your people. I don’t mean your “I am good. How have you been?” people. I mean your “I don’t have to ask because I just know something is wrong” kinda’ people. Not the kinda’ people who once they see you in the trenches, they stand up on the sidelines and ask if you need help. Nope. You want the kinda’ people who will crawl down in there with you. Through the yuck and through the muck. The ones who don’t mind getting dirty, if it means just being by your side.

Those are the kind of people I want you to find.

The ones who, when everything else falls to pieces, and the world is getting loud around you, you want the ones who will help extinguish the fires. Because there’s some who will throw fuel. You want the ones who will love you and stand by you – On the days when you are yourself and on the days when you are not. Because there’s some who will leave. You want the ones who will keep showing up, even when you don’t. The ones who don’t take the unopened text messages personal. Nor do they care if you haven’t made it to the last eighteen invites. Because there are some who will make your escape from life all about them.

The reality is – Life has its ups, and has its downs. You want to find the people who don’t make your friendship a choice through it all – Because they love you anyway. No matter what. So promise me you won’t stop until you find your people. The people who will cause you to look up, smile, and say “You knew I needed them, didn’t you?” It will be the greatest gift you’ll give yourself in 2022. You can trust me on that. Love Always.“

My personal tribe

I received the message above recently from a personal friend who I consider to be one of my people. We belong to a sisterhood of women who gather when we can. When we cannot, we message, call, visit from a distance. We laugh, we cry, we dance and sing (not always well!), we play games, we tease, we eat, and we always have each other’s back when needed.

No description available.
My personal tribe (missing two members)!

My professional tribe

I have often talked about the entrepreneur ecosystem. It was something that I was completely unaware of when I started my business almost four years ago. Thankfully, I have been welcomed into the ecosystem. I embrace the learnings from others who have gone before me. They make me question, try, learn, share.

May be an image of 10 people, people standing and text that says "Way, Josel"
Entrepreneur Ecosystem Navigate Small Business, Grenfell Campus

Several of my clients have become dear friends. I trust them to give me honest feedback about my service. They teach me, boost me, catch me when I fall, encourage me, they cheer for me.

When you are a sole proprietor, it gets lonely sometimes. I am so grateful for those who have become my trusted advisors.

My most important tribe – my family! 💜

The most important of “my people” are my husband and our two daughters. Of course, that includes Velcro too! They belong to both my personal and professional tribes. They challenge me, they make me laugh, they make me cry, they keep me grounded, they love me.

May be an image of 4 people, people standing, indoor and tree
My family!

Whoever your people are, find them in 2022! If you are as fortunate as I am, you have found your people; cherish them. I am so grateful for each and every one of my people. Each of them have a piece of my heart. I am a better person because of them. Wishing you and everyone you love, health, happiness, and gratitude in 2022. ~ Carole

Work-Life Balance Post-Pandemic

December 1, 2021

We have been hearing about work-life balance for years. The pandemic has forced many of us to take a hard look at how we are doing.

How the pandemic changed our perspective

For me, initially the pandemic had very little impact. I already work from home. My husband is retired. Our daughters have moved out. We were not faced with suddenly everyone being at home, encroaching on one another’s space, and generally getting on each other’s nerves. In reality, home life did not change.

My business queries immediately fell silent for a two-week period following the shut down of our province on March 16, 2020. However, beginning in April, queries ramped up as clients needed assistance in navigating the new virtual reality of conducting their operations. In other words, my business experienced a positive change.

As weeks passed into months, and the uncertainty of when? or worse if? the pandemic would end, I found my perspective changed on what is important to me. Visits with my parents were reduced to shouting across a driveway from the safety of my car with them on their porch. Video chats with our daughters were the only way to see them in person. I began second-guessing my walking route, changing it to side streets to minimize how many people I would pass. If I did see someone else, we both moved as far apart as possible when passing, including actually crossing to the other side of the road.

Work-life balance is a cycle

According to an article in Harvard Business Review (HBR), work-life balance is a cycle that must evolve as our circumstances change. HBR’s research has shown that the work-life balance cycle involves five steps:

  1. Pause
  2. Pay attention to your emotions
  3. Reprioritize
  4. Consider your alternatives
  5. Implement changes

The past two years have given us constant evolving change. In short, it has been a world-wide case study if there ever was one!

Adjusting to the next normal

Fortunately, this too shall pass, as they say. We are seeing our way out of full lockdowns. I have been able to hug my daughters and my parents again. I am back on the road with clients conducting business in person. The next normal will never go to back to the old normal. As we adjust, many of us are reflecting on what we have experienced. Certainly, most are finding that returning to a jam-packed work and home life is no longer desirable. That is to say, being stressed, worn thin, burning the candle at both ends, is not a normal anyone wants to be our next way of living.

Taking time out to relax and reflect at The Labyrinth in Bowring Park

If you are struggling to work your way through the cycle of work-life balance, consider taking one of my workshops for some tips and tricks. Some to look at are Managing Stress: Self-Care Strategies, Building Resilience, or What’s on Your Plate? For a list of all workshops I offer, visit my website and click on Workshops & Events. Unable to find what you are looking for? Contact me to discuss! I just might be able to develop something for you or point you to another provider.

As we approach the holiday season, I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas. May you be healthy, happy and safe! I look forward to connecting with you again in 2022. ~ Carole

Is Motivational Speaker in my future?

November 29, 2021

Recently folks that I respect and trust suggested that I add motivational speaker to my service offerings. What do you think?

The past two and a half days I attended a Start Up Weekend hosted by Navigate Small Business at Grenfell Campus, Memorial University in Corner Brook, NL. This weekend is a whirlwind of activity from pitching business ideas on Friday night to launching a business over the weekend. The event wraps up with pitching to a panel of judges on Sunday afternoon. The high quality ideas of the teams and their hard work always impresses me.

Keynote Address

This year, organizers asked me to give a keynote address to participants during our lunch break on Saturday. My start up experience started back in 2017 when I decided to make my first ever pitch. Since then, I was a mentor in 2018, and a pitch coach in 2019. The pandemic cancelled the event in 2020. This year I was once again a pitch coach. The keynote was something new to me. As a result of my own experiences, I decided my speech would be about my own startup weekend memories and my journey to becoming an entrepreneur.

A female motivational speaker making a speech with a microphone in her hand.
Keynote address November 27, 2021 #joselamstartup

Thankfully, my speech went off without a hitch! Folks laughed when I wanted them to. Unexpectedly, the audience gave me a round of applause during my talk! Likewise, what happened next surprised me. Some members of the audience that I truly and deeply respect gave me a hug. They told me I must become a motivational speaker. Others told me I inspired them. Late on Saturday, a shy, young man, came up to tell me how my speech touched him. He was not even participating in the startup weekend. Rather, he was a volunteer who was sitting with his friends during lunch and heard me speak. A day later, on Sunday, another person came up to me and said, “You touched me yesterday.” She said she did not know my story of how I became an entrepreneur. We only met after I started my business.

Getting paid to talk for a living?

My often family teases me about how much I can talk. My husband always add more time to my expected return time home when I am out. He knows I will inevitably meet someone along the way and stop to talk. I am very confident about public speaking. I should be; it is my job after all!

A natural storyteller with a passion for her heritage, Carole often says she is in her dream job as she gets to talk for a living.

The response from my keynote this weekend is making me pause and reflect. Consequently, I am asking myself, “Is motivational speaker in my future? Should I be adding that to my service offerings at Spicer Facilitation & Learning?”

I would love to hear your thoughts. Please drop me a comment on social media, send me an email, or give me a call. ~ Carole

Using an accountability partner

November 12, 2021

Having an accountability partner is a key way to help you achieve your goals. Read on to hear how one client is using me as hers.

What is an accountability partner?

According to Mary Fletcher, “Accountability partners are made up of one or more individuals who are willing to hold you accountable. The idea is that, once someone other than yourself knows what you need to do or what you want to achieve, there is a greater incentive to go out and do it to avoid having to explain why you didn’t to another person.”

The first time I heard this phrase was from Julie Lewis, owner of SassyTuna Studio. We were attending a export workshop together. She described how she used an accountability partner to keep her on track for one of her projects.

Working with Julie

A few months later, Julie asked me if I would be interested in working with her as a coach for a new initiative. Of course I said yes! We chatted on the phone, met over Zoom, shared countless emails. I was able to give her some project management tools to assist her in finding focus and direction for her creative idea.

Two smiling women wearing masks
At SassyTuna in St. John’s

On a recent trip to St. John’s, I arranged to visit her studio in person. We worked on her project and I helped her to set some milestones working backward from her desired end date. I suggested she go off-site to plan by herself and gave her a deadline of the end of November. I assured her that I would be following up with her to make sure she met my assigned “homework”. Later that evening she sent me a picture of our photo on her desk and said that she is using our photo as a reminder to remain on task and that she is accountable to me.

Image of a desk with a photograph in the left hand corner.
Our photo as a reminder to remain on task

Earlier today, she shared some photos of the timelines she has established for her project. Way ahead of schedule! She listed out her activities, established dependency relationships, and has set her course for the next 8 months. By sending me her pictures she is once more setting me up as an accountability partner. I now have record of her intentions and desired goals. I can easily set up reminders in my own calendar to check in on her.

My own accountability partners

Working with Julie has made me reflect on my own accountability partners. I wondered, do I even have any? The answer is a resounding YES!

I am part of a Mastermind group with Newfoundland and Labrador Organization of Women Entrepreneurs (NLOWE). We meet monthly as a group of women entrepreneurs with our lead facilitator. She guides us through our challenges, celebrates our successes, and helps us set goals. Along with the group, she holds us accountable for the work we are doing when we meet each month for updates.

I see a therapist every two months to discuss my mental well-being. He holds me accountable for taking care of myself. Without him, my self-care journey over the past six years would have been much more difficult.

For those of you who follow my blog, you know that back in September, my daughter, her fiancé and I set ourselves up as accountability partners for a wellness challenge. While we might not be as strict as we should be, having to share what we have been doing to improve our overall health is easier to do when we have actually taken steps to do so!

For more information on accountability partners, visit Goalcast. If I can help you in any way, please reach out to connect! ~ Carole